Short, simple & straight to the point

Who says Malaysians don't own a command of English? In fact, we keep it short, simple and we are straight to the point. Don't believe me? See for yourself...


When giving a customer bad news...
Britains: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No stock.

Returning a call...
Britains: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

Asking someone to make way...
Britains: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysian: S-kew me.

When someone offers to pay...
Britains: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No need lah.

When asking for permission...
Britains: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) can ar?

When entertaining...
Britains: Please make yourself at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy lah!

When doubting someone...
Britains: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

When declining an offer...
Britains: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.

In disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
Britains: Err, Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from. but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?

When asking someone to lower their voice...
Britains: Excuse me, but could you please lower down your voice. I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

When asking someone if he/she knows you...
Britains: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: What are you looking at?

When assessing a tight situation...
Britains: We seem to be a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die loh!!

When trying to find out what had happened...
Britains: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happen why like that?

When someone did something wrong...
Britains: This isn't the way to do it, here let show you.
Malaysians: Like this also don't know how to do!!

When one is angry...
Britains: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Fuck off!